Mom of 17-year-old daughter makes her apply to 42 jobs: 'You owe your child a huge apology'

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    "AITA for making my daughter apply to 42 jobs?"

    I'm a mother of a 17 year old daughter who is a current senior in high school. She's been putting off getting a job for a few weeks (she's applied to six over the past three weeks with no response) so my husband and I decided to put our feet down. We gave her until 8:00 PM to draft us a multi-week plan regarding how she plans to get a job (e.g. how many jobs a week? which jobs? etc.)
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    She gave us a half-assed paper that said, "apply to 3 jobs a week." We told her that this was unacceptable, and told her that she wasn't even really trying to get a job. She then asked us aggressively how many jobs we thought she should apply to, and I said that she should apply to 3 a day. My daughter then said, "well then how am I supposed to devise a multi week plan if I'm already going to be applying to 21 jobs a week?"
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    We said that it's still a multi-week plan, consisting of applying to a total of 42 jobs over two weeks. She got very upset at us and cried and yelled, and locked herself in her bathroom for the rest of the night.
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    It was also her job to do dishes today, and we reminded her with a text about this, to which she refused to do them. We didn't know what to do, and are threatening her with not letting her go to her friends debutante ball and winter formal after party. I just want her to learn to be independent and prepared with some funds before she heads off to college: Am I the a h le?
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    lagingerosnap Yeah YTA. My teenager has been applying to multiple jobs weekly because he wants to and is so defeated and frustrated that no one is hiring him. I reiterate to him that his job is school right now, but I get it, he wants money and independence. I'm sure your daughter is frustrated too.
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    Sharp-Concentr... what are their grades? she should be focusing on enjoying time w her friends and getting thru the last year. applying for colleges.
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    Dry-Warning6459 Would there even be 42 open job listings for 17yr olds? Either way you and your husband are
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    pborg312 YTA. You are out of touch with reality in job seeking. A 17 year old will only be able to get a job as a cashier, fast food worker, or something else in retail. I know - we had the same issue with our kids at the same age.
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    Instead of placing unreasonable "goals" (and YOUR goals at that), perhaps talking with your kid about what THEY want will be more productive. You'll gain insight into your kid and can then shift the dynamic to actually help them succeed, rather than fail.
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    Placing unrealistic goals for job is back firing on you, and will lead to resentment in the long run. Helping them succeed applying for a job(s) with an open mind and actually explaining things will lead to more success.
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    Jeez. She's 17 and in school full time. She should concentrate on her school work and final exams. Help her to apply for colleges and jobs, be there to assist as needed and chill out.
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    I agree she should have done the dishes, but she's punishing you for placing an unrealistic expectations on her. Oh, and taking away the ball/party DOES NOT fit the crime of not doing the dishes. At the very least, she should be made to do the dishes on days she is not required to do them for a set time period.
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    rcf_111 YTA. Do you realise how time consuming and draining a job application is? Now multiple that by 3 EVERY DAY. You're delusional and pushing your kid away.
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    Educational_Du... Nta, we have so many adult people acting like children nowadays is bc no one thought them how to be responsible in life. No phone, no friends dance, no wifi if it was my kid, especially after screaming at you and not doing their chores.
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    FeeFiFooFunyon YTA You owe your child a huge apology. You might want to find a therapist or parenting mentor to run things like this past because your parenting intuition is awful.

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